MARRIAGE TO A NIGERIAN MAN

When you have a Nigerian husband, church and God become part of your life. Nigerian people love God and love praising Him. As I mentioned earlier, they pray even in normal conversations .... loruko Jesu....and then remember to say Amenooo.

This is something that we, White Naija Girls have to learn otherwise the communication can break easily. ..I love the way how most Nigerians relate to God. They are thanking Him every good things all the time as God is good...all the time.

Before I met my Husband my Sunday mornings were sad and boring. I even thought sometimes that Sundays can not be happy because Sunday is the last day of the week (in Hungarian calendar) and people are not even going out, everything is quite and miserable. When I met my Husband He introduced me to God and I started to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I found answers to so many of my questions and some of my problems disappeared.



Today I would like to summaries what I've learnt tonight at the couple's night at our church.

Our Nigerian pastors help us having a happier marriage and less arguments in our relationship. Thank You for that! This is something that I was missing from Church of England.

Let start with the fact that family is the first institution that God has established. God loves families and He doesn't want us to argue all the time. However argument is kind of understandable as two people are coming from different background and they have different ideas about things. Arguments can be about money, sex or even something very little and we should always try to avoid conflicts.

Marriage is a DECISION. We must make up our mind that it is going to work. In my experience many Nigerian men are looking for humble wives. They are looking for somebody that UNDERSTANDS, ADORES, RESPECTS, APPRECIATES and deeply LOVES them.

SUBMISSION is something that all wives should do to their husbands but we, women find it extremely difficult to submit. My theory is that respect is something that sometimes you only do because that's the word of God and not necessarily because your husband really deserves it.

The better your RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD the better your relationship with your husband. So make sure you don't have "boring Sundays" as I had when I was single.

We, women love talking. I literally have to bite my tongue sometimes because I could go on for ages. Men love wife that are LISTENING to them. So hold your tongue even if you bite it.

Use the MAGIC WORDS: Please, Thank you, Sorry. They really work.

Love does NOT KEEP RECORD OF WRONG. Some people actually write down the wrongs others do to them so that they never forget.

Nigerian men want you to be beautiful and SEXY. Not wearing the same nighty every night!!!

Nigerian men love food, especially Nigerian food. Some of them can not go on for a day without them. So if you are married to a Naija man, you have to be able to cook hot Naija food.

And lastly marriage should be ENJOYABLE, full of humor, love and caring. Remember to hug your husband when he arrives.

WHITE NAIJA GIRLS IS 27!!!

Yesterday was my birthday. I had a lovely time with my husband , he took me out to cinema, took lovely pictures of me and made my day wonderful.
Thank you babe!

facebook postcard from my husband 2013

KEEP DATING

I've read somewhere that you should keep dating your husband. So I asked mine when he finishes today and surprised him. He was so surprised that he took me to a restaurant.:)
We had a whole hour for ourselves.:)

CULTURAL DIFFERENCES IN NIGERIAN - HUNGARIAN MARRIAGE

I had a misunderstanding with my husband recently that happened undoubtedly because of cultural differences.  I thought I should write about it because I think people are interested what it is like to be in an interracial couple.
I'm from Hungary and my husband is Nigerian. I was raised in quite a modern European way. I was taught to have my say in anything and tell people if I think I can do things better. In my family there was nothing like an actual leader. My mum was good at financing so she let my dad know about it. My dad wasn't so good at it and he still wanted to deal with it. My mum always told me to express myself if I need to and make my own decisions. I and my sisters, we all chose our education ourselves, nobody forced us to do certain courses just to follow "a good advise".

My husband is from a polygamous home. His dad was a very popular person with great business skills and great career He had his own sewing machine and record label, petrol station, 20 cars  etc. "Nobody could challenge him"- my husband says it all the time.
None of his wives could raise her voice for him.

So this is our backgrounds. Now you can imagine how difficult for me to follow my husband all the time, even when I'm sure he's not right. VERY DIFFICULT. We are confronting occasionally when I make my own financial decisions that he doesn't agree with and when he doesn't want to listen to me because he thinks I don't respect him enough by saying my opinion all the time.

I don't think marriage is easier with a European or in general with a white man. It's all about attitude. Upbringing is not excuse. I believe we can all learn how to create a happy marriage in all time. IT'S ALL ABOUT ATTITUDE.

A PICTURE OF ME AT THE FITNESS DVD PRODUCTION

FITNESS DVD PRODUCTION

Wow, it's really not easy to produce  a fitness DVD. There are several things that need to be sorted. I thought the best is to create a little checklist for people who wants to have their own DVD done. These are my tips to get the best result on the day.

1, Find child care

The first and most important thing  is to make sure your child is in good hands. My child is a bit loud and active , for child less people he's a bit too much. I made a mistake with this one as I was trying to find child care in the last minute. I only found one of my single friends that doesn't have a child yet. I ended up getting messages in the middle of shoot asking me to pick my son earlier.
I don't know how hard my son has cried but my friend only said one thing when I got out the car: "Please don't ask me to baby sit again"...one baby sitter minus...

2, Do shopping on time

In this project I was the presenter, producer, and the whole costume department in one. I didn't ming shopping for T-shirts, pant's, yoga mats , even towel and socks. The only thing I forgot is that we are doing exercise. And exercise comes with sweat. I had to go shopping on  production day for extra T-shirts which caused a bit of a rush actually.

3, practice with script

This one is kind of obvious but I still managed to do without script throughout all the practice. I'm from Hungary and I have a foreign ascent in English and sometimes I make grammatical mistakes, too. So I wrote down everythin I'm going to say on my video .....I just didn't practiced it enough.

4, get transportation

Don't just think about yourself , if you want to have your guys at the place on time, make sure you tell them how to get to the studio.

5, Cash

Our landlady didn't accept card payment for hiring and we had to drive to town again. A bit of a pain when you pay for your time anyway.

6, Plan your time well

I though 4 hours will be enough to set the studio and record everything. I was wrong. Setting took 2,5 hour and we couldn't finish all the recording, Unfortunately landlady rejected overtime so we have another go soon.

7, give enough notice to people

At this project I was responsible for organizing for camera people and crew. I jut forget our bad statistics, Call 10 people and 2 will turn up. This time only one came.

8, music and music system

I wanted to record my fitness video without music and get a music score composer later. Our director said it's better to workout on the music and it will keep us motivated, too. It makes sense .

9, Enough space

My fitness video was a very low budget project. I only paid for  studio, clothes and props. I wanted a decent place with decent price. The studio was a nice 650 sq ft but apparently it wasn't big enough for all the setting.

10,  Make up kit

I'm  a hobby make up artist with massive make up kit and basic knowledge for now. Thanks God I brought my whole kit for later corrections, We really needed it because our face became very shiny after a few exercises.

11, Parental permission

I had 2 of my friends helping me on the DVD. They are both Nigerians but one of them is under age. Yesterday her mum told me off because I didn't send content form to her about the project. She said I should ask for proper permission when I work with children. She's right, every day is a school day.

12, Extensions and equipments, setting

As my husband was the main filmmaker on set he needed some help with packing equipment. None of us thought about packing more than 2 extensions. Is it not a big problem? We broke a very expensive light because of short wires.

13, Proof

As a last tip it's always nice to take a picture of people working on the set. Its good for memory and just to proof that you worked with camera. In the hurry we forgot all about that and didn't take any pictures of the setting and the crew.


Hope you learnt something...