ABOUT MOTHERHOOD

Having my children is  one is the best thing ever happened to me. My first child's name is Kornelius and even his name was a gift of God. He made me the person I am today and he made me even White Naija Girl. He made me interested in African culture and become a  role model for some interracial families.

He is an active child. he makes me really busy and fit and I can not complain about that. I have definitely lost my baby weight. quickly after birth. Especially because that was the time when I was also  introduced to the Forever C9 programme. Read more about that here.

But of course  motherhood has its disadvantages as well. E.g. last night I felt very upset when I've been told that I cannot attend an event because I coudln't  find child care. I had the same feeling when we worked out how much we spent on baby sitter when we had to travelled  last year. Sometimes I feel like my whole life is around dirty nappies and bad eyes in the supermarket because my child is screaming for biscuits.
This is something I have not known of when I was planning to become a mum.
Restrictions! Too many restrictions!

I'm not saying children are not blessings but sometimes I would like to have less restrictions and more fun.

I found this song on the Internet that tells it all. Enjoy.
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2 comments:

  1. This too shall pass. You are right, life will not be the same for many years,but before you know it, you will be free again.

    My name is Debbie. I married my spouse Akhere 25 years ago. He married a ready made family of five. I had four children and Akhere raised them as his own. We had two son together.

    Today we have one son at home. Everyone is grown with spouses, girlfriends and/or children. Our son at home is almost 18 years old. He is so busy with his own life, so we usually see him when he comes downstairs to spent time with us.

    I dedicated my life to my children. I gave up so much. Thank God. Today my children thank me for spending so much time at home with them.

    Before I met Akhere, I left my sons with a highly recommended child care provider. My son was inflicted with pain.

    What happened to my son is not the norm, but after that terrible crime, I just did not want others to watch my children.

    Today I have wonderful memories. Akhere and I took all our children where ever we went. I mean we traveled a lot. Always together.

    My first spouse played pro basketball in France. He traveled and I stayed home. I was sad and lonely. The marriage did not last because one gained more than the other.One had less responsibility than the other. one was more selfish and had more freedom than the other.

    I wish you could travel with your son. That way, you will not feel so restricted. You will, however, have other barriers to overcome. Traveling with children is not easy. I know if we if we traveled with six children on our hip, you and your spouse can carry one. There is no greater cross to bear than raising children. Believe me your son knows when you are sad.

    I read your blog and I admit I called my spouse and said, "Oh boy. Here we go again. She is in La La land. She is a newlywed who is dreaming about marriage to a Nigerian man." All I know is the cultures differences can be challenging.

    I kept reading and you, changed my mind. I watched your spouse read poetry, and I was touched. I realized that you two are really in love. I fell in love with your story.

    Cheer up. If you two can take your son with you, then take him . Stay together always.

    Bad eyes? Not sure who, but my mother in law told me to raise my head and ignore them. For I know God is with you, so who can be against you.

    P.S. good luck with the book and video.

    Sincerely,
    Debbie

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  2. Hi Debbie,

    Thank you very much for your comment. It's nice to know that somebody actually reads my blog. :)
    This post is written when I couln't attend a media networking event with my husband in Stockport because children were not allowed there. I had to come home and sit in the living room in my nice costume and make up feeling like my life is over.

    To tell you the truth I felt bad about the post afterwards but I don't want to take it off as this is kind of part of me. I'm from Hungary. Most people in Hungary were taught to be negative. I complain too much compare to my husband and I know this causes too many problems. I love the fact that my husband is positive. Exactly what I always wanted. He changed me so much in a good way. And even though I still complain sometimes, I am a completely different person than I was 5 years ago.

    Well done for your 25 years of marriage. Amazing. I believe we'll get there , too. BUT it's real hard work though. Partly because of cultural differences but mainly because of different upbringings. I could always get away with studying all the time and not helping in the kitchen as a teenager. Now I know how much better it would be if I was trained to be a good wife.

    But I'm trying though, God is my witness, I'm trying.:)

    My husband values family a lot. He always makes sure all of us is happy. He helps with my little one and motivates me a lot. He's amazing.

    It's great to hear that you love children, too. We would like to have more, too. They are just miracles. They keep you smile, fit and make you proud. I never thought I could be proud of a "star" sticker on my child's T-shirt.

    Anyway, I loved reading your comment. Hope to hear from you again.

    Emese Afolabi

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