MARRIAGE TO A NIGERIAN MAN

When you have a Nigerian husband, church and God become part of your life. Nigerian people love God and love praising Him. As I mentioned earlier, they pray even in normal conversations .... loruko Jesu....and then remember to say Amenooo.

This is something that we, White Naija Girls have to learn otherwise the communication can break easily. ..I love the way how most Nigerians relate to God. They are thanking Him every good things all the time as God is good...all the time.

Before I met my Husband my Sunday mornings were sad and boring. I even thought sometimes that Sundays can not be happy because Sunday is the last day of the week (in Hungarian calendar) and people are not even going out, everything is quite and miserable. When I met my Husband He introduced me to God and I started to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I found answers to so many of my questions and some of my problems disappeared.



Today I would like to summaries what I've learnt tonight at the couple's night at our church.

Our Nigerian pastors help us having a happier marriage and less arguments in our relationship. Thank You for that! This is something that I was missing from Church of England.

Let start with the fact that family is the first institution that God has established. God loves families and He doesn't want us to argue all the time. However argument is kind of understandable as two people are coming from different background and they have different ideas about things. Arguments can be about money, sex or even something very little and we should always try to avoid conflicts.

Marriage is a DECISION. We must make up our mind that it is going to work. In my experience many Nigerian men are looking for humble wives. They are looking for somebody that UNDERSTANDS, ADORES, RESPECTS, APPRECIATES and deeply LOVES them.

SUBMISSION is something that all wives should do to their husbands but we, women find it extremely difficult to submit. My theory is that respect is something that sometimes you only do because that's the word of God and not necessarily because your husband really deserves it.

The better your RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD the better your relationship with your husband. So make sure you don't have "boring Sundays" as I had when I was single.

We, women love talking. I literally have to bite my tongue sometimes because I could go on for ages. Men love wife that are LISTENING to them. So hold your tongue even if you bite it.

Use the MAGIC WORDS: Please, Thank you, Sorry. They really work.

Love does NOT KEEP RECORD OF WRONG. Some people actually write down the wrongs others do to them so that they never forget.

Nigerian men want you to be beautiful and SEXY. Not wearing the same nighty every night!!!

Nigerian men love food, especially Nigerian food. Some of them can not go on for a day without them. So if you are married to a Naija man, you have to be able to cook hot Naija food.

And lastly marriage should be ENJOYABLE, full of humor, love and caring. Remember to hug your husband when he arrives.

WHITE NAIJA GIRLS IS 27!!!

Yesterday was my birthday. I had a lovely time with my husband , he took me out to cinema, took lovely pictures of me and made my day wonderful.
Thank you babe!

facebook postcard from my husband 2013

KEEP DATING

I've read somewhere that you should keep dating your husband. So I asked mine when he finishes today and surprised him. He was so surprised that he took me to a restaurant.:)
We had a whole hour for ourselves.:)

CULTURAL DIFFERENCES IN NIGERIAN - HUNGARIAN MARRIAGE

I had a misunderstanding with my husband recently that happened undoubtedly because of cultural differences.  I thought I should write about it because I think people are interested what it is like to be in an interracial couple.
I'm from Hungary and my husband is Nigerian. I was raised in quite a modern European way. I was taught to have my say in anything and tell people if I think I can do things better. In my family there was nothing like an actual leader. My mum was good at financing so she let my dad know about it. My dad wasn't so good at it and he still wanted to deal with it. My mum always told me to express myself if I need to and make my own decisions. I and my sisters, we all chose our education ourselves, nobody forced us to do certain courses just to follow "a good advise".

My husband is from a polygamous home. His dad was a very popular person with great business skills and great career He had his own sewing machine and record label, petrol station, 20 cars  etc. "Nobody could challenge him"- my husband says it all the time.
None of his wives could raise her voice for him.

So this is our backgrounds. Now you can imagine how difficult for me to follow my husband all the time, even when I'm sure he's not right. VERY DIFFICULT. We are confronting occasionally when I make my own financial decisions that he doesn't agree with and when he doesn't want to listen to me because he thinks I don't respect him enough by saying my opinion all the time.

I don't think marriage is easier with a European or in general with a white man. It's all about attitude. Upbringing is not excuse. I believe we can all learn how to create a happy marriage in all time. IT'S ALL ABOUT ATTITUDE.

A PICTURE OF ME AT THE FITNESS DVD PRODUCTION

FITNESS DVD PRODUCTION

Wow, it's really not easy to produce  a fitness DVD. There are several things that need to be sorted. I thought the best is to create a little checklist for people who wants to have their own DVD done. These are my tips to get the best result on the day.

1, Find child care

The first and most important thing  is to make sure your child is in good hands. My child is a bit loud and active , for child less people he's a bit too much. I made a mistake with this one as I was trying to find child care in the last minute. I only found one of my single friends that doesn't have a child yet. I ended up getting messages in the middle of shoot asking me to pick my son earlier.
I don't know how hard my son has cried but my friend only said one thing when I got out the car: "Please don't ask me to baby sit again"...one baby sitter minus...

2, Do shopping on time

In this project I was the presenter, producer, and the whole costume department in one. I didn't ming shopping for T-shirts, pant's, yoga mats , even towel and socks. The only thing I forgot is that we are doing exercise. And exercise comes with sweat. I had to go shopping on  production day for extra T-shirts which caused a bit of a rush actually.

3, practice with script

This one is kind of obvious but I still managed to do without script throughout all the practice. I'm from Hungary and I have a foreign ascent in English and sometimes I make grammatical mistakes, too. So I wrote down everythin I'm going to say on my video .....I just didn't practiced it enough.

4, get transportation

Don't just think about yourself , if you want to have your guys at the place on time, make sure you tell them how to get to the studio.

5, Cash

Our landlady didn't accept card payment for hiring and we had to drive to town again. A bit of a pain when you pay for your time anyway.

6, Plan your time well

I though 4 hours will be enough to set the studio and record everything. I was wrong. Setting took 2,5 hour and we couldn't finish all the recording, Unfortunately landlady rejected overtime so we have another go soon.

7, give enough notice to people

At this project I was responsible for organizing for camera people and crew. I jut forget our bad statistics, Call 10 people and 2 will turn up. This time only one came.

8, music and music system

I wanted to record my fitness video without music and get a music score composer later. Our director said it's better to workout on the music and it will keep us motivated, too. It makes sense .

9, Enough space

My fitness video was a very low budget project. I only paid for  studio, clothes and props. I wanted a decent place with decent price. The studio was a nice 650 sq ft but apparently it wasn't big enough for all the setting.

10,  Make up kit

I'm  a hobby make up artist with massive make up kit and basic knowledge for now. Thanks God I brought my whole kit for later corrections, We really needed it because our face became very shiny after a few exercises.

11, Parental permission

I had 2 of my friends helping me on the DVD. They are both Nigerians but one of them is under age. Yesterday her mum told me off because I didn't send content form to her about the project. She said I should ask for proper permission when I work with children. She's right, every day is a school day.

12, Extensions and equipments, setting

As my husband was the main filmmaker on set he needed some help with packing equipment. None of us thought about packing more than 2 extensions. Is it not a big problem? We broke a very expensive light because of short wires.

13, Proof

As a last tip it's always nice to take a picture of people working on the set. Its good for memory and just to proof that you worked with camera. In the hurry we forgot all about that and didn't take any pictures of the setting and the crew.


Hope you learnt something...

MY FITNESS DVD

Finally , it looks like we will be filming my first ever fitness video. It's fun to be a filmmaker's wife. You get expensive production services for free. Well, that is not actually true but never mind.

We are practicing for this video for months with my girs. We are meeting 3-4 times a week and pushing ourselves to the limit. Once the product is ready I wouldn't mind to get some feedback on it please.

QUIET TIME AT WHITE NAIJA GIRL?

Hi,

Occasionally I have a quick look at my whitenaijagirl blog and feel so delighted that I still have people looking back every day on my site. I even feel tempted to write then but so many times I would just not have the time to finish my article.

BUT today I decided to write about why I'm not writing. There is so much going on these days and I really feel blessed because of that.
I have officially started my weight loss business called WNG specializing in African diet and exercise. I have given speech about weight loss and healthy lifestyle for Africans in Manchester Family Christ Church and got the admission to Manchester Metropolitan University Nutritional Sciences course.
 Of course I still give free exercise lessons in New Covenant Church and started another weight loss group in church.

www.magnumn3.org

Apart from all this I help tirelessly in my husband media production company called MagnumN3 and do my normal responsibilities as a mother, wife and NCC choir member. I don't really have time for socializing but I do enjoy every aspect of my busy life.

Now I will make more efford to write on this site as White Naija Girl means so much to me. This is where my love of Africa started.


WNG, October 2013

NIGERIAN WEDDINGS

Weddings in Nigeria are colorful, creative and extravagant productions, with guest lists of up to 2,000 people considered standard. In England, if you had 400 people at a wedding, that would be considered a huge number, In Nigeria, if you had 400 guests, people would say “Oh, dear". Families typically put much effort and expense into the event, as a wedding was an important status symbol - although "not in a negative way."

There are two parts to a Nigerian wedding. The first ceremony is the "traditional wedding," sometimes also referred to as the engagement. This is typically attended by fewer guests -- only family and close friends.

The couple would wear traditional dress, with the bride usually wearing a traditional fabric gifted to her by her new parents-in-law, sometimes sewn into a modern Afrocentric design.

The second, "white wedding" - with a guest list at the reception potentially running into the thousands. For this, the bride would wear a white bridal gown and the bridal party formal attire. The most popular time of year for weddings is in December, when expatriate Nigerians return from abroad and can face a schedule of weddings seven days a week.

Another distinctive feature of the Nigerian wedding is the wearing of "aso-ebi." The phrase, which translates from the Yoruba language as "clothes of the family," refers to the garments of matching fabric worn by the bride's family and friends at the ceremony.

"There was darkness for a long time and then there was a light, and that light was you. Your love has given me wings, and our journey begins today. I pledge before this assembled company to be your wife from this day forward. Let us make our two lives one life. I want you for today, tomorrow, and forever."

The above description will be probably very useful to me in a few years time when my husband and I renew our marriage with a traditional Nigerian wedding. This time our wedding  was a small private ceremony  with very few people and we only wanted to “confirm the love, the respect and the true friendship that we have for each other”.

True-As long as I’m married to the one I truly love, at the end of the day, our wedding day went perfectly.

AFRICAN WEIGHT LOSS GROUP AT NEW COVENANT CHURCH MANCHESTER

It's been six months now that I'm teaching exercise for the mainly African and Asia community. I spend a lot of time preparing for the class and now I'm also planning to shot my first ever fitness video. My vision is that Africans will have a better understanding of calories and healthy lifestyle.






Along with my exercise class we started our African weight loss group where we talk about healthy lifestyle, the psychology of obesity and African food.


At the moment we don't have enough people in the group, definitely not enough to save African people from diabetes, high blood pressure and stroke.

I think people need to know healthy lifestyle is more than "weight loss". It's quality life, prevention of  several diseases and showing good example to your kids

.

WHITE NAIJA GIRL HAS BEEN TO BULGARIA

White naija girl has done it! The movement to promote Yoruba language and culture is slowly becoming international. We've been to Bulgaria for a couple of weeks where I managed to gather wonderful people to sing in Yoruba. Enjoy!

I can't upload the video for some reason but please follow the link. My friend from 7 Euopean countries are singing a short Yoruba song that my dear husband taught us. Some of us really enjoyed ourselves and we were dancing funny.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OV3IZIYF8no&feature=youtu.be

NIGERIAN BEANS

Nigerian brown beans are what most Nigerians expect when one mentions beans. You can find them at your African/ethnic grocery stores usually called ‘african beans

Beans are a major source of protein -the protein content in Nigerian brown beans is higher than that in the common black eye beans- and a good source of soluble fiber which lowers your cholesterol and stabilizes blood sugar. They're great for heart health, too. Beans are also high in folate (folic acid) which can help protect against many health problems including heart disease and stroke and they are rich in blood building iron, vitamins B6 and B1, as well as potassium (for healthy heart and nerves), selenium (for great skin and chemical processes in the body), and other vital minerals.

Women in their child-bearing years and pregnant women are advised to take folate supplements and eat folate-rich foods to prevent birth defects and congenital disorders. Folic acid was shown to help people over 50 with short-term memory and cognitive function

Dietary fibers makes beans give a "filling" effect, that a little amount gives you a great sense of satiety. This is a desirable effect for weight loss, as you will not need "a lot" of servings to feel satisfied. High dietary fiber also means that you get the bulk effect needed for good bowel function, meaning you should have less problem with constipation, and many other bowel disease.

They are also a fantastic choice of energy for diabetics. Other Protective Ingredients. African brown beans is very rich in many ingredients that helps in protecting us against diseases such as cancer

NIGERIAN ENGLISH LANGUAGE

The number of languages currently estimated and catalogued in Nigeria is 521. In some areas of Nigeria, ethnic groups speak more than one language. The official language of Nigeria, English, the former colonial language, even though most ethnic groups prefer to communicate in their own languages, English, being the official language, is widely used for education, business transactions and for official purposes.

After English the major languages spoken in Nigeria are Yoruba, Hausa, Igbo, Fulfulde, Kanuri, and Ibibio.

After this formal first paragraph I would like to share an article with you that I’ve read on http://www.stuffnigerianpeoplelike.com/. I found it quite funny and I’ve learnt”some stuff” Nigerian people like. I’m just wondering what you guys are thinking about it.
Enjoy and please comment!

“Nigerian people love to naija-fy the English language – if a naija speaker does not use a “dey”, a native-tongue word, or does not speak certain words with a Naija accent then he dey Entah-A TRUH-bol [trouble]. Now to the non-Naija listener, these substitutions, extra words, and interesting pronunciation choices may seem like a completely unnecessary misuse/abuse of the English language.


But, eef you do not unda-stand owa talk, SHARRAP that yuah mout and listen well well . . . . ee-djut.

Naija people will double up words in certain phrases to lend emphasis. For example, to describe a good looking girl, a Naija will describe her as “fine fine”, a little child as “small small”, or a person who is easily led as “follow follow”. Bicoz why? Naija people also love to hear themselves talk, and saying something twice allows the speaker more words “for come-out mout.” Na waa ooo…


Naija people have pretty much created a separate language especially for their children. Common phrases like “Cry….TRUH-bol dey call you”, “make am do kwik [quick]”, or “[*hiss/suck teeth*] no dey take….put eye see [*hiss/suck teeth*]” would probably have Noah Webster turning in his grave. Because of this, American-born Nigerian children are forced to re-learn simple English words in school. In fact, most Naija people can think back to their younger days and remember the following exchange.”

PROS AND CONS OF LOSING WEIGHT

There is a time in almost every body's life when you know you should lose a bit of weight but you really can't find motivation for it.  This is the time when you can create a pros and cons list.

Look at mine!

Pros:

1. Being healthy
2. Don't have to worry about being too big for something.
3. Won't fear physical intimacy
4. Not having to ask for seat belt extender when flying
5. Alleviate general obesity symptoms (joint pain,  inner thigh rub,  mobility,)
6. Be a good role model for your kids
7. No more hiding behind your friends while taking picture
8. Being able to cross your legs again
9. Avoiding weight related diseases e.g. type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure,  severe arthritis
10. Being smaller than your mother and your male friends


Cons:


1. Restrictions in diet
2. Miss being care free=careless about my food
3. Lots more laundry
4. Your baby gets used to you carrying him/her
5. You need to sit on the back seat when a friend gets in the car
6. You need to squeeze into the garage to get something because nobody else can get in
7. In the holiday club you look like one the kids rather than the teacher

BLACK WOMAN AND THEIR HAIR

Afro hair is considered to be unkept, untidy and unruly in the pre-dominantly white corporate and commercial world. There have been numerous reports where black people have been cautioned for wearing their natural hair or cornrows to work.

And the multi-million dollar Black Hair Industry wants black women to continue believing that their own natural hair is ugly so that they continue to throw hundreds of dollars at products that promote low self-esteem, hate of afro hair and idolisation asian and european hair.

To tell you the truth I didn't know what the real afro hair looked like for a long time.

It is partly because we live in a world where most of what we see on the big screen is white dominated. We see white girls flashing long glossy hair and commercials continually hammer the message that bone straight hair is the ultimate hair beauty. Then what happens? Black people and my children begin to feel insecure and desire what we see, forgetting what we see is purely for financial gain and has nothing to do with true health or real beauty.

There are so many elements fighting against the black woman opening her eyes and claiming her natural beauty. Afro hair is a crown to the heads, it grows up with pride so African people should be proud of who they are and claim their own beauty rather than digesting media junk and desperately trying to mimic that of other races. 

If you are black, you have naturally curly hair and its beautiful just as is the black woman. My beautiful black ladies let your natural beauty glow. Accept your real self and your real beauty rather than chasing an elusion that encourages low self-esteem and enriches the asian economy rather than our own.

Mother’s are also partly responsible for young black women growing up to hate their hair. When your mother is tugging through your hair complaining about how dry and bushy it is, whilst ripping the comb through and causing pain, it no wonder that those children grow up wanting to avoid having to handle this hair that they are constantly told is so unmanageable.

Ladies please, please, start being tender with your children’s hair and compliment them on the beauty of their natural afro hair so that our girls and boys can grow up feeling beautiful and proud to be black. I will certainly do so.

WISH ME GOOD LUCK FOR THE HALF-MARATHON !!!!

Hi everyone,

Today is the big day ,Sunday August 25th 2013 and I will be running the Fleetwood Half-Marathon for TWO NIGERIAN charities -- The "FORTE,charity for inspiration" and "A wa po" charity.

Both charities are donating for children in Nigeria.

FORTE helps youth in Africa to become motivated and educated. FORTE encourages them by giving valuable advice, free books (Book clubs exist), motivational talks/seminars and financial assistance for education. FORTE has been active since 2008. Greatness begins in the mind! 

More information on:  www.AfinikiAkanet.co.uk

If you want to donate to this charity go to:

www.justgiving.com/whitenaijagirl

A Wa Po - Yoruba for "we are together" - is a charitable organisation that develops education opportunities for children across Nigeria, who are affected by poverty, disability and discrimination. We specialize in vocational ICT training in order to create employment opportunities for the children.More information on:  http://www.awapo.co.uk/

If you want to donate to this charity go to:

www.justgiving.com/whitenaijagirl1

I've set up a justgiving fundraising page to make it easy for you to donate.
Remember: Donating through JustGiving is simple, fast and totally secure. Your details are safe with JustGiving - they'll never share them with anyone or send you unwanted emails. Once you donate, they'll send your money directly to the charity. They'll make sure Gift Aid (an additional 28%) is reclaimed on every eligible donation by a UK taxpayer, too. That means more money goes to the charity, faster, with JustGiving.

ARE NIGERIANS MORE OPTIMISTIC?

I've read a novel called Rebecca by an English author Daphne du Maurier  and a well written sentence caught my eye :

"Happiness is not a possession to be prized, it is a quality of thought, a state of mind"

I think this sentence is very complex and successfully understanding each layer can be quite the undertaking. My understanding is the following:

As people grow older, they tempt to associate happiness with things like a good job, a better and bigger property, a car,  or other material things. But what does actually happiness mean? Is happiness a feeling? A learnt behavior? Or a decision?

Since I met my husband I learnt a lot about happiness. He is from Nigeria, a country where people are struggling to survive and most of whom struggle on less than a dollar a day and electricity is switched off for the night. Nigerians really don't have it easy. They are going through bad things every day but they try not to let cicumtances to wave them. And still according to a Gallup end of year poll ranked Nigerians as the happiest people in the world in terms of their economic fortunes for 2011.


2012 was't easier for the country again for example because of the government proposal to remove the fuel subsidy on petrol and that the proce of a litre of petrol jumped from 65 naira to 139 naira a litre.
It of course badly hit ordinary people.

The Islamist terror group Boko Haram continued its campaign across the north-east and Abuja then there was the story that shocked the whole nation when the young woman was raped by five young men.

So, I was thinking what do Nigerians have  to be so optimistic about? I had a quick "interview" with my husband and he argues that "Nigerians have been taught to be positive and have hope every day.
Even if there is no light tomorrow or there is another rape next week, we -Nigerians- always hope that things get better. They live on hope"

I personally loves this way of thinking. I wish the country where I'm from would be a bit more optimistic. As for Hungarians I asked my husband to describe them with a single word. He said : complains...

I guess we have a lot to learn from Nigerians then.

WHY YOUNG MONEY?

This article is written by Gbenga Afolabi on youngmoneyuk.blogspot.co.uk

"The reason why I chose to do my News Item on the subject of Youth Entrepreneurship is connected with my background and upbringing. As someone coming from Nigeria, a country where the rate of unemployment is 7x the rates obtainable here in the UK, entrepreneurship is a ubiquitous phenomenon. Almost everyone runs their own petty or large business alongside working for others. It is not uncommon to see university lecturers selling hand outs in order to supplement their wages, which is usually quite low. A lot of students run their own business alongside their studies.

As a student in Nigeria, I had at least two streams of income. This helped me with my upkeep. And this has stayed with me till today even in the UK, as I am always engaged in one form of business or another. Nigeria is a country where Winston Churchill’s famous saying “ask not what your country can do for you but what you can do for your country” holds true more in the aspect of youth entrepreneurship than in the UK. The difference between Nigeria and UK couldn’t be more stack in this respect. Perhaps this is why commentators have deemed Nigerians as the happiest people in the world- the ability to decide your own destiny.

As a welfare state, the UK makes provision for her populace in form of unemployment benefits, income support, and housing benefits etc., something that is Utopian in Oil rich Nigeria. Nonetheless, the fact that many British people get handed everything on a “platter of gold” in my opinion, makes a tangible amount of people less competitive and unproductive and perpetually living on the breadline. Many will live out their lives never using their innate skills and talents because of the lack of an environment where creativity and entrepreneurship is actively encouraged. 

Thankfully, now, there is a case for youth entrepreneurship. With unemployment among young people hovering around the one million mark, it is time to start debating the topic as well as shining some light on its intricacies. And since obviously the media shapes our worldview in a larger way than we are aware of, there isn’t a better time than the present to put the subject of Youth entrepreneurship in the headlines."

Read on http://youngmoneyuk.blogspot.co.uk/2013/01/why-young-money.html

THE WORLD’S BEST DIET

A few years ago I had a very difficult time and as so many women when life is stressful I ate a lot. In a short period of time I put on so much weight that I started to feel uncomfortable. When I finally decided to do something about it, I did some research and I found the best diet ever.

So many of my friends asked me how I did it that I decide to write a book to explain how it works. Since then I introduced African foods in my diet and now I’m keeping my weight off successfully with Egusi soup and pounded yam.

My book is probably going to be called White Naija Babe Diet but I’m still working on it now. In the meantime I launched whitenaijagirl.blogspot.co.uk (very soon whitenaijagirl.co.uk) where I can share thoughts and ideas that are key to the book, including Nigerian culture, diet, Yoruba language lessons and provide example of things that really work when it comes to losing weight.

So let’s get back to a few years ago when I decided to not eat sugar and flour for a couple of days. This was my diet that I created after a lot of research. Much to my surprise, I dropped weight. FAST. I got so motivated I've kept it up.

No flour is easy. No bread, no regular pasta. Thai noodles are good - the glass noodles are made from beans, and they use rice noodles too.

The hardest thing is the sugar. It's in EVERYTHING. In salad dressing, sauces, ALL SUGAR. I also found out that sugar has a lot of name: Fructose, Sucrose, Corn Syrup, High Fructose Corn Syrup. If you see these things on labels, it simply means SUGAR.

Today I still do this diet more or less as I don’t want to lose more weight and because my diet now contains a lot of African dishes. I changed my old diet to a bit more African and it seems to work very well.

I've got three friends doing it and they've all lost weight! I told them give it three days - get on the scale today, do this for three days and you'll see results - AND THEY HAVE!!! LOTS!

What do I do?

• I eat rice. LOTS. But if I can I try to eat the healthier brown version. 
• I give it 3 hours before bed for my last meal of the day. 
• Drink a lot of water. 
• Take a Magnesium supplement - it helps burn fat and kicks up my metabolism. 
• Stop eating when I’m full. I’m telling myself things like: “You can have a snack later, don’t worry!” Try to eat smart: No fried food. No high-sugar fruits or juice. 
• Not a lot of red meat simply because it's high in saturated fat. 
• Try to do some exercise every day. Exercise is something I don't mind doing anyway. I do some walking and weightlifting because I've heard that your body will burn off more calories when you're resting if you have more muscle mass. 

For me it was easy, I don't eat much bread anyway, so I've never missed those. I ate some pasta, but it was never my first choice, so that was not a big deal for me. I only had some problem with giving up sugar but I found the solution for that already. Lots of people who are gluten intolerant eat this way all the time However, I know it's not for everyone, but it sure has worked for me.

Happy eating!

2 WEEKS HOLIDAY CLUB FOR KIDS

I'm currently volunteering at our local church in a program called holiday club. 

We run this club from 12th August to 23rd August and it takes place at New Covenant Church Manchester,- 1 Matthews Ln, Manchester M12 4QW - from 11.00 am until 4.00pm,registration in the main hall. It is for mainly local children of the community between the age of 5 and 16.


We have a particular theme of activities -  including zumba, swimming, cooking, creative activities. We also provide lunch for all the kids and snack before they leave. 

For the games and craft the children are divided into age groups, younger and older, which makes it easier to tailor the activities to suit a particular age range. Each evening the children take home the craft item that they have made as a memento.

The two weeks club with an invitation to parents and grandparents to the Friday when everyone comes along and has the opportunity to join in the fun.

We have a core planning team of about eight with others willing to help out on the event. We also have several very capable teenagers/young adults who take a very active role each day.

And the best thing about it that this cost only 1 pound / child as the event funded by Boys Brigade.

Please bring along your child and let them have fun.

YORUBA PROVERB

Ti ọwọ́ ọmọ là ńgbà; kò sẹ́ni tó lè gba tinú ọmọ. 

It's what a child has that can be taken away; no one can strip him of what he contains.

[Man may hinder, but can't stop a determined soul]

EXERCISE CLASS - COME AND JOIN US AT NEW COVENANT CHURCH IN MANCHESTER

Every Saturday from 7pm to 8pm. Bring towel and a bottle of drink.
You will love it!!!!!!!!!!

PICTURE BY GBENGA AFOLABI

This is a picture taken by my dear husband Gbenga Afolabi. I just want to say thank you, my Darling. I don't have words to describe what I feel for you. I fall deeper in your love with every passing day. Every moment I spend with you, feels like a dream. I'm madly in love with you.

Emese Afolabi

YORUBA PROVERB

Ohun tó ṣe àkàlàmàgbò tó fi dẹ́kun ẹ̀rin rínrín, tó bá ṣe igúnnugún á wokoko mórí ẹyin ni. /
If what took laughter away from the crow, had befallen the vulture, it would have been stuck on its eggs.

[We have different tolerance limits]

UK BLACK ENTREPRENEURS & PROFESSIONALS NIGHT OUT

Meet Business Owners, Entrepreneurs, Investors and Professionals on this platform to share ideas, recruitments to jobs, tips and contacts. No speeches and frills, just Networking. Tea, Coffee, Water, Fruits & Biscuits will be served. Come with lots of Business Cards to network. (This is going to be a sell out event, please RSVP on time because closer to the event Price is £15.00)

The event will be on Friday, 30 August 2013 , at 7pm -8:30pm

CHECK THIS OUT FOR BUSINESS IN NIGERIA

Nigeria is projected to be the leading economy in sub-Saharan Africa within the next decade. This will affect the prosperity of not only the West African region, but the entire continent and more globally. The UK and Nigeria have agreed to double bilateral trade from £4bn in 2010 to £8bn in 2014.


UKTI in Nigeria helps companies in Britain increase their competitiveness through overseas trade in Nigeria:
https://www.gov.uk/government/world/organisations/uk-trade-investment-nigeria

YORUBA PROVERB

A fi ẹ̀gúsí jẹ iyán tán, èpo rẹ̀ wá di oun àìjí rí. / 

After melon had been used to eat pounded yam, its peelings now became offensive.

[Once people have achieved their goals, they often ignore or discredit those who helped them along the way]

WORD FOR TODAY

I believe in the sun even when it's not shining. I believe in love even when I can't feel it. I believe in God even when he is silent. 

MOOD AND BRAIN BOOSTING FOODS

Proper diet and nutrition plays a very significant role in our mood and behavior.  A person’s food intake can literally affect brain function.


It’s important that we focus our attention on feeding ourselves powerful mood and brain boosting foods so that we thrive and minimize moodiness.


 A number of mood and brain boosting foods are listed below:

Fatty Fish

Seafood like salmon,  tuna, mackerel, and sardines are packed with omega-3 fatty
acids, powerful and versatile nutrients that are essential for a healthy mind.


Leafy Green and Cruciferous Veggies

This includes broccoli, cauliflower, cabbage, kale, bok choy, and brussels sprouts. They’re filled with antioxidants like vitamin C and plant compounds called carotenoids, which are particularly powerful brain protectors.


Asparagus

This vegetable is one of the top plant-based sources of tryptophan, which serves as a basis for the creation of serotonin, one of the brain's primary mood-regulating neurotransmitters.


Avocado, Oils, Nuts, and Seeds

They all contain the important antioxidant vitamin E. In one study, researchers found that people who consumed moderate amounts vitamin E from food, lowered their risk of ADD by 67%.


Dark Chocolate

Dark chocolate (at least 70% cocoa) contains flavonoids, another class of antioxidants that
some research links to brain health.


Berries

Research indicates these antioxidant powerhouses may protect your brain.

LOSE WEIGHT WITH NIGERIAN FOOD

Like I said you can eat whatever you love and you will still lose weight. Whether its “eba” with “egusi” soup or chocolates or pizza? YES. You can eat those kinds of foods and still create calorie deficit! Even more! You will increase your metabolism and the fat-burning hormones in your body.
BUT you need to know what is happening in your body when you eat too much of amala and egusi soup in one sitting. I could have also said pounded yam and stew as most of Nigerian foods are starches that raise blood sugar level too quickly in our body.



As we discussed in my last post after meal glucose arrives in our body via bloodstream. This releases Insulin (a hormone that lowers blood glucose levels) which is stored inside beta-cells. The insulin travels to other part of the body in the bloodstream and helps tissues, such as fat, muscle and liver to store glucose as energy source.
The problem occurs when you eat too much starchy foods at once and you have too much sugar in your system. Insulin hormone is tying to deliver the sugar to your cells that really need energy but sometimes your body just “says” NO, I had enough I don’t need glucose right now. I don’t have room for it.



And what does anyone do when they run out of room? They sore the leftovers in storage unit. And the body’s storage unit is the fat cell.
With other words: Imagine you have a paper cup and there is a small hole in the bottom of it. If you hold that cup under running water unless you turn off the faucet in time, the water will overflow from the top of the cup before the cup has a chance to be emptied.



Our bodies are the same. Once we “turn on the water” or begin eating, our bodies begin to digest the food. If we let the water keep running (over eat at any given meal), there is not enough room in the body to store all of those calories, so the likelihood of them 'over-flowing' and being stored as fat is higher.
The point is that although you need carbs every 4 hours, you don’t want to flood your sytem with glucose by eating too many carbs at one time. But you also don’t want to deprive your system of glucose by eating too few carbs.



So what’s the solution? My Nigerian friends that I’m helping to lose weight all eating Nigerian foods regularly, every 3 hours and do you know what? They lose weight. I explained to them that by eating often (every 3 hour, starting within 1 hour after waking up) they can control their blood sugar level beautifully and by doing that they can lose weight. I told them to get a smaller amount of carbs at all times.
This is like a dream come true to them because they don’t want to stop eating Nigerian food when they are losing weight. I can agree with them. Why would you stop eating something that you’ve been enjoyed your whole life?.....

EXERCISE CLASS AT NEW COVENANT CHURCH

Hi every one!


I hope you all know by now that I love exercising. However I noticed that people in my -mainly Nigerian- church don't get enough exercise. I was wondering whether they don't like exercising or they just don't have time for it. People explained to me that Nigerian women in the UK are really struggling to have time for themselves. "It's not like back in Africa where people have maids." - they said.

Here they have to do all the housework themselves and most of them even work full time. On the other hand they have more kids than average British citizens. And kids keep them very busy UNLESS they are in church where children can go to there class during prayer sessions.

I feel like part of my mission to help Nigerians become healthier and fitter even if need some trick to do that. So I talked to Pastor's wife Mrs Esther Oludipe to help me organize an exercise class in church. I think people would have more chance to come this way.

After discussing all sort of "issues" about it we finally decided to do the class on every Saturday at 7-8pm in our church - New Covenant Church , 1 Matthews Lane, Manchester M12 4QW.

The class is FREE and everybody is more than welcome.

Hope to see you there. God bless.

PREVENT STRETCH MARKS

Congratulations, if you’re pregnant! Having a baby is a wonderful experience. I bet it would be even more wonderful if we wouldn’t end up with stretch marks after the 10 months pregnancy.

The bitter truth is that between 75 and 90% of women develop stretch marks during pregnancy. As you put on weight, your skin is gradually stretched further and further, usually causing darker lines on your body. Stretch marks can appear on the thighs, buttocks and on the breasts as they get bigger.

But don’t worry there is always a solution. When I was pregnant I found some tricks and tips that can help you prevent your skin from damaging.

Your intake of certain foods has a huge impact on your skin elasticity. Increase your intake of the following foods to keep your skin healthy and help prevent stretch marks.

• Vitamin E to increase skin elasticity. You can find vitamin E in Breakfast cereals (the best is unsweetened porridge), nuts, tomatoes, spinach, carrot, pumpkin, pepper, broccoli, sweet potato, fish, mango. 
• Eat nuts and seeds (Brazil nuts, Almonds, Walnuts, sunflower seeds, pumpkin seeds) 
• Vitamin C (hot chili pepper, bell pepper, broccoli, kiwi, papaya, oranges) 
• Zinc (oysters, roast beef, pumpkin, squash, dark chocolate, lamb, peanut, crab) 
• Silica (banana, wholegrain bread, raisin, green beans, carrot, rice) 
• Drinking lots of water 

And my last advice is: It’s normal to put on weight, but try not to “eat for two”. The extra calories that a pregnant woman should take to nourish the baby are about 300 extra calories per day.

Enjoy your pregnancy!

HOW TO MOTIVATE YOURSELF TO DO SOME EXERCISE?

There are a few simple tips to motivate yourself  to get some exercise. Every one of us have weaknesses that can prevent us from becoming healthy and super fit. However it is very import\ant to overcome these weaknesses in order to enjoy a quality life together with our family and love ones.

One of the best motivational tips I’ve ever heard is that you have to act like you already lost the weight you are trying to loose. Imagine that you are lean, imagine it very strongly. You can even look for your hero that you want to be like. Print out her/his picture and visualize it very strongly that you already have that kind of beautiful body. Find out what sort of exercise your hero does and copy it. Remember celebrities and very successful people are people just like us. If they can achieve that amazing shape you can do the same too. This is the method I've used after I had my first babay and probably will be using next time as well.

You can use the same technique when you are struggling to start your exercise for the day. If you don’t feel motivated then act like it. Act like you are super motivated and the funny thing is that you will begin to feel like it. Amazing!

When you are not very keen on exercising, start slowly. Look for a dynamic music and just start moving, put your leg to the right place, then the other one, then the other one…Don’t think of the whole program, just the actual set that you are doing. When you’ve finished move onto the next one, then the next one, then the next one… Easy, isn't it? It definitely works for me.

Sometimes I make a deal with myself. For example I say: When I’m done with my exercise I can watch my favorite TV show. By the way you can always use the time when you are watching TV to do some exercise.

My last advice is one of the most important: Find a reason why to do it. It’s quite difficult to motivate yourself to do exercise if you don’t even have a good reason for it. 

You can motivate yourself with the bikini season or that you want to look good for your husband. Important is that it gets you to work.

These are my advises for today. Please let me know which one of them works for you. Looking forward to hearing from you.

NIGERIAN WAY OF HOSTING

While many traditions have gone by the wayside over the years, Nigerian way of hosting has never gone out of style. My husband and I have been guests several times and I thought I should pen down what I’ve learnt during some of these visits.

Let’s start with the fact that Nigerians like visiting each other (often impromptu), in fact they would visit a friend or family rather than go out to a pub. As a host, you must make sure you appear happy to see your guests even if they came at the worst time.

Another thing that was a bit unusual for me is that often you are expected to offer cooked food to your guests such as egusi soup, stew rice, eba etc. In my home-country of Hungary, guest are only offered snacks such as biscuit and cake.

If you eat iyan and egusi soup as I did today at my husband’s uncle’s house you have to also remember that the proper way to consume such food is with you hand, and you'll be given finger bowls and towels.

More importantly, it is deemed rude to use your left hand to eat, pass or receive anything in a Nigerian household. And unlike Europeans, Nigerians might find it offensive if you start blowing your nose noisily in front of them.


Finally DON'T use only first names to address people. Nigerians are very class oriented people and so younger people are expected to respect their elders by calling them Sister/Aunty  Tope or Uncle Femi.

If you're going to get one thing from this post, make it the fact that Nigerians are warm, polite, and caring people when it comes to hosting.

AFRICAN BABY SHOWER

I've been to a baby shower the other day. It was a great fun and a great experience. We were singing and listening to African music,eating naija food and had games like “say a baby boy’s name beginning with the letter that’s been given to you”. I met great people and had a lot of fun.



One thing that I noticed at the party was that everybody was trying to talk to everyone. There were no small groups of people that were only talking to each other. Everybody became a friend of everyone very quickly after the party started.
You would probably say that at a small house party that’s normal anyway. But believe me, I’ve been to places where it wasn't like that.

The person organized the baby shower made sure everybody wore maxi dress and had baby bump. It was very funny when people tied blanket, pillow or even teddy bear to their tummies. Some of the girls even used cotton ball to make their belly button sticking out just as the real would during pregnancy.
So everybody looked pregnant for a day. It was fun. It was also fun when people started to sing Yoruba songs. I wish I could have sung with them but I can’t sing in Yoruba yet. Maybe I will learn something now that I have motivation. I’m always amazed how many songs Nigerian people know by heart. If I want to keep up, I have to learn quite a few of them.

We were also talking about delivery and labour and people were trying to give practical advise to the ones that were expecting for real. When we talked about breastfeeding and caring for the baby, I noticed that almost everyone was breastfeeding who had a baby before. In the UK there are more women that are bottle feeding even though midwifes are trying to promote breastfeeding at every given occasion.

There is one more thing that I have to mention related to African children. African mothers are tying their baby on their back when they are going out or even in the house when they have things to do. This allows the baby to look around and be close to their mummy.
Once my sister in law put my baby on her back and surprisingly he fell asleep within 5 minutes. In a couple of days later I was trying to do the same but I just couldn’t figure out how I should do it. I guess there is still a lot to learn.

LEARNING YORUBA

I find it extremely important to understand my partner even when He speaks his own language. So I started to learn Yoruba. The video above is  my first proper Yoruba lesson recorded by myself. My aim is to motivate myself with recording my progress and of course if I can help other white naija girls learning Yoruba then that's great.

What do I think about the language?

I think Yoruba is not an easy language in a way that you really have to be careful with the pronunciation. Yoruba is a tonal language and the same word can mean 4-5 different thinsg according to the right pronunciation.

I did some research about the language and I came across the following interesting facts:

· Yoruba is spoken by up to 30 million people in Africa
· Yorubaland extends across Nigeria, Benin Republic and Togo. (all in West Africa)
· 200 years ago Yoruba was transported to Latin America during the Atlantic Slave trade
· In Brazil, the Yoruba heritage is still very evident

Yoruba has certain special alphabets:
· e with a dot under the e pronounced eeh
· gb pronounced gbii
· with a dot under the o pronounced awwh
· s with a dot under the s pronounced shh
· a pronounced aah
· e pronounced like a in English


If you know anything else about the language please let me know! I'm always interested!

YORUBA PROVERB

Ọ̀gẹ̀dẹ̀ dùn tó bá pọ́n, sùgbọ́n tó bá pọ́n láàpọ́njù oúnjẹ ni fún ẹyẹ oko. /
Banana is sweet when ripe, but if it's overripe it will become food for the birds.

“Few things are impossible to diligence and skill. Great works are performed not by strength, but perseverance”

CHALLENGE OF THE WEEK

If you're serious about increasing your core strength, follow me this week. We'll be doing sit ups challenge.
This is a basic challenge and the same for all levels. If it's too easy do more BUT never less.

Here we go...

Day 1 - Monday: 10

Day 2 - Tuesday: 20

Day 3 - Wednesday: 30

Day 4 - Thursday: 40

Day 5 - Friday: 50

Day 6 - Saturday: 60

Day 7 - Sunday: 70

THE KEY TO LOSING WEIGHT

Headaches, shakiness, dizziness, mood swings, lethargy, lack of energy, lack of concentration, extreme hunger, cravings, these symptoms have all something to do with being overweight and even more with blood sugar. 

I would like to refer to my last post as I had some people emailed me asking if they can eat carbs and still lose weight. In my last post I described a diet without sugar and flour BUT I never said I don’t eat carbs. I actually think you cannot lose weight HEALTHILY if you only eat protein. Yes, you will lose weight as your body will use body fat for energy, but you will also develop other diseases such as kidney stones, not to mention you will have cravings all day long. Let me explain why you need carbohydrate.

The key to losing weight and keeping it off is keeping your blood sugar level stable. –says Christine Avanti in her book “Skinny Chicks don’t eat salads” Understand this concept and apply it in your diet and miracle will happen to your body.

What is blood sugar?

Our bodies need sugar to function properly. Brain, nerve and red blood cells can only run on sugar (in other name glucose) in your blood. Glucose comes from the carbohydrate that we eat. But please don’t just think of white bread, pasta and sweets. Veggies, fruits, beans, whole grains are the best sources of carbs. You need carbs every four hours as the brain and nervous system don’t store glucose. But the trick is getting the right amount of right carbohydrate at the right times.

The perfect blood sugar is between 80 and 120 milligram of glucose per decilitre of blood. Anywhere above and below this range can result in fat storage. Your blood sugar in the morning is super low because you haven’t eaten all night long. So when you wake up in the morning and you eat the wrong carbohydrate (sugary coffee, custard, white bread) your blood sugar increase rapidly. But as rapidly your blood sugar increased, just as rapidly it will drop. And the result will be hunger in a half an hour and the symptoms that I mentioned at the beginning of this article.

Good news is that when you eat whole grains, fruits, vegetables your blood sugar will still remain at normal level. There is a very important hormone that takes part in the process: Insulin.

I will talk about insulin next time, so check back tomorrow. Until then try to make better nutritional choices and get healthier!

DOES IT MATTER HOW SLIM YOU ARE?

Research shows that when you meet someone face-to-face, 93% of how you are judged is based on non-verbal data - your appearance and your body language. Only 7% is influenced by the words that you speak. Whoever said that you can't judge a book by its cover failed to note that people do.

After my pregnancy I felt very fat. You know when you are pregnant you just eat anyhow because you feel you and your baby need it. And after delivery when you face the reality you feel really upset. At least that's what I felt. 

Especially when you have a Nigerian husband and you eat white rice, eba and egusi all the time you don't even know what to do to lose weight. You want to slim down but you also want to favor your husband and of course yourself by cooking these foods. And who wants to stop eating Nigerian food? Nigerian food is tasty and when you eat it, you feel like you eat real food. 

However, we women always want to look beautiful. We make our self gorgeous, we dye our hair, buy nice clothes and of course we want to be slim.

It  took a while for me to figure out how I can achieve all of these at the same time. Today I manage my weight successfully, I eat Nigerian foods and make sure I am the most beautiful woman for my husband.

I know that most Nigerian women don't take weight issues too seriously. At least most of my friends don't. They think if their husband is not complaining, they don't have to lose weight or at least maintain their current weight. They also think, when you have a few children you "have to get fatter". What is your experience? I'm looking forward to your comments.

KICKIN' IT WITH THE KINKS

Thanks to my husband, Gbenga  I was able to take part in a photo shoot with Kickin' it with the Kinks. The organisation which was founded by Cynthia Butare, a Swiss Ruwandan documentary filmmaker who is working hard on promoting natural beauty particularly among women of African heritage.

Having made a documentary Kickin' it with the Kinks, which won her the best film at the Manchester Metropolitan University for her final year project, Cynthia is working tirelessly on raising the profile of black women using the power of the media. 

The inspiration for her film came when she realised she couln't remember what her natural hair looked like as she was stuck in a vicious cycle of fixing artificial weaves. She was eager to find out why it is that most black women don't wear their natural hair.

She found out that there is more than just fashion behind the scenes and that the subject of hair and how it is worn amongst black women is tied to an ugly past which most people are not prepared to accept.  She conducted interviews with several women of varrying heritage and its quite interesting to find out how strongly some, especially women of African heritage feel about their hair or hair extensions need I say.

Unfortunately, most African women have been indoctrinated into believing that their natural hair is a no go area, hence would rather 'indulge' themselves by doning european styled natural hair. Apart from the monetary cost of matching up with the 'white beauty' which had been propagated by former masters, there are many other adverse consequences to the black woman. (The video should be available later in the year).

In keeping up with her theme, Cynthia decided to team with Gbenga to do a photo shoot which will promote women's natural beauty.You can see a video documentary of the photo shoot below and it involves women of different shades and tones. And all the women involved, including me are beautiful.  

Makeup artist: Kada Faida
photographer: Gbenga Afolabi
models: Stacy Toussaint, George Oluyinka, Damiana Casile, Khota D. Aleer , Ange Ka and Emese Afolabi
music: DivaGeek, Belle, Naomi the Empress and Zakes Bantwini

NIGERIA MARKS 50 YEARS OF FREEDOM

Nigeria's president has led Africa's most populous country in celebrations to mark 50 years since independence from the UK.

Busloads of schoolchildren have arrived in Tafawa Balewa Square in the centre of Lagos.

She says the ceremony will be slightly lower key than in 1960 with the national guard parading before the Lagos state governor and his royal highness, the Oba of Lagos, the traditional king, and other dignitaries.

But across Lagos, outside the square the mood is quiet, as many people appear to being taking advantage of the public holiday to leave the city to visit families.

WHAT DOES "NAIJA" MEAN?

This page is called WHITE NAIJA GIRL I'm sure many people know what "white" and "girl" mean. What what about "naija"?

"Naija is a word we Nigerians guard jealously" - says a Nigerian.
As a Hungarian person all I know is that "Naija" is a short form of Nigerian.

It has a special pronounciation as well.
"It must be punchy - both syllables should be emphasised but with a hook for the "Nai" and jab for the "ja"."
Some people have special feeling about it as well:

Here is a selection of your comments:

What Naija means to me is: Nai - the old Nigeria with a bad image because of corrupt ex-leaders and Ja - a slang for disappear. So when we say Naija, it means that we, the youth, are determined to cleanse the country and show the world the true colour of this great nation. Naija for real! Simon, Enugu, Nigeria

Naija means a lot to me - it is my home and it is where I will die. There is no place like home and that place is Naija. Even with the corrupt practices and the kidnappings, it is only we Nigerians who can solve our problems. I do not think there is any need for us to run somewhere else, instead it is better we sit down and and resolve this issue. After all, other countries have their problems to solve, so let's stay and solve ours. I love my country, my father's land and my home. Naija - what a place to be. Obireh Erhuvwu, Kaduna, Nigeria