BLACK WOMEN AND THEIR HAIR



I am writing this post in support of my friend, the best hairdresser I know, the owner of GlamGorgeous hair salon,  Gege. Every time I visit her she always teaches me something, sometimes about hair sometimes such a simple little wisdom. So I thought I really need to appreciate her and let you guys know how talented she is.

However, last time I visited her she taught me something extraordinary.

As she was in the process of beautifying me we got to talking about biracial hair and how I can make my daughter love her hair.





I was delighted to hear that there is a natural movement in the industry which means a lot of mixed race and black people are keen to learn about their hair and how to take care of it. She told me about how damaging it is when ladies use a chemical straightener to straighten their hair and why we should never do that to young people's hair.

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I always knew that women feel like their hair is a “crowning glory" and their hair is even central to their social position. But I don't think I ever really understood what hair got to do with black women's identity.


After my visit at GlamGorgeous hairsalon in Manchester I made up my find to find out more. I did a bit of research and I found that some ladies straighten their hair because they believe that would give them an advantage in the world. It is like one less battle that would have to fight.


I have even read "For young black girls, hair is not just something to play with, it is something that is laden with messages, and it has the power to dictate how others treat you, and in turn, how you feel about yourself. "




I found this so interesting since I have biracial children myself and I want to equip them well for the future. I am glad to have realised the importance of natural hair early on so I can start my own "hair journey" or at least "hair education".


I would love to hear your opinion about this, dear reader. Please remember to comment below.


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HOW TO SUCCEED IN THE FIRST 5 YEARS OF AN INTERRACIAL MARRIAGE





Interracial relationships come with their own unique set of challenges.
It is often assumed that people of different ethnicities are automatically opposites. In this video, I am stressing the fact that the first 5 years are parts of a transition period.

To survive an interracial marriage you need to do a lot of listening and even make changes if needed.

There are certain qualities and bits of knowledge that I and my husband have leaned on to succeed as an interracial couple. Today I would like to share with you some of these qualities:


1. Bite your tounge.

 Be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger (James 1:19).
This is extremely critical, especially in the earlier years.


It can be useful to think of an argument like an onion. The outer layer is what you're speaking about, while the deeper layers beneath represent the issues beneath this.


In other words, sometimes what we argue about is only a symptom of what's going wrong, not the cause.
2. Be prepared to compromise.

Often the only way to reach a solution is for both partners to give some ground. If both of you stick rigidly to your desired outcome, the fight is probably just going to keep going and going. It might be that one or both of you needs to compromise a little so that you’re able to move past things. Sometimes, an imperfect solution is better than no solution at all.

3. LEARN TO APPRECIATE THE DIFFERENCES. 

In addition to having different skin colours, we had to understand that we have come from two very different cultures.
I found my husband to be very proud of his African routes and I didn't want to leave my cultural background behind when I married him.


I learnt that taking an interest in each other’s cultural heritage shows your commitment to each other and helps you both to realize that you are fully accepted by your spouse/partner.


It’s also an important part of allowing both partners in the relationship to retain their cultural identity. There has to be a balance of both cultures in your home in order to respect each other’s cultural identities and heritage.


4. Always improve the good to great.

Learn from the bad experiences that occur in the first year and all throughout your marriage.


5. Respect each other; respect your in-laws even if you don’t agree or like them.

I am lucky to have a wonderful mother in law. However, I know that some people find t difficult to get on with their in-laws. Remember to keep peace in your family.

-> Watch my video with my mother in law here:







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WHITE WIVES ARE ALWAYS COMPLAINING



Husbands think women complain too much. As my colleague said "Women complain as soon they open heir mouth, even when they yawn in the morning. "

Some would probably finds this statement amusing but I truly believe husbands often misunderstand their wives. This is not necessarily only true for interracial couples, but for couples in general.

My husband would say I complain all the time but honestly I am not complaining just describing my day.







Women and men deal with daily issues in completely different ways.
Women often like to speak about the hardships or the joys that happen to them. It can sound like complaining, but in reality they are just relating their experiences so as to process their feelings. I would simply call it "sharing".

My message to all men!: We don't want you to solve our problems, just be available to listen.

All we, women are looking for is sympathy. Say things like - “seems like you had a difficult day”, etc. Maybe, just say 'ohh..' or, 'hmm..' every now and then. You don't really have to say a lot. Just learn to listen. It's a sign of trust that you get to listen to your wife's feelings.
The bottom line is that validating your wife's feelings can turn off "complaining" quickly.

So the lesson is simple dear husbands out there:


Listen sympathetically and empathize.
And remember to resist the urge to attempt to solve her problems.





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