HOW TO SUCCEED IN THE FIRST 5 YEARS OF AN INTERRACIAL MARRIAGE

Interracial relationships come with their own unique set of challenges.
It is often assumed that people of different ethnicities are automatically opposites. The first 5 years are parts of a transition period.

To survive an interracial marriage you need to do a lot of listening and even make changes if needed.

There are certain qualities and bits of knowledge that I and my husband have leaned on to succeed as an interracial couple. Today I would like to share with you some of these qualities:


1. Bite your tounge.

 Be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger (James 1:19).
This is extremely critical, especially in the earlier years.


It can be useful to think of an argument like an onion. The outer layer is what you're speaking about, while the deeper layers beneath represent the issues beneath this.


In other words, sometimes what we argue about is only a symptom of what's going wrong, not the cause.

2. Be prepared to compromise.

Often the only way to reach a solution is for both partners to give some ground. If both of you stick rigidly to your desired outcome, the fight is probably just going to keep going and going. It might be that one or both of you needs to compromise a little so that you’re able to move past things. Sometimes, an imperfect solution is better than no solution at all.

3. LEARN TO APPRECIATE THE DIFFERENCES. 

In addition to having different skin colours, we had to understand that we have come from two very different cultures.

I found my husband to be very proud of his African routes and I didn't want to leave my cultural background behind when I married him.


I learnt that taking an interest in each other’s cultural heritage shows your commitment to each other and helps you both to realize that you are fully accepted by your spouse/partner.


It’s also an important part of allowing both partners in the relationship to retain their cultural identity. There has to be a balance of both cultures in your home in order to respect each other’s cultural identities and heritage.


4. Always improve the good to great.

Learn from the bad experiences that occur in the first year and all throughout your marriage.


5. Respect each other; respect your in-laws even if you don’t agree or like them.

I am lucky to have a wonderful mother in law. However, I know that some people find t difficult to get on with their in-laws. Remember to keep peace in your family.

-> Watch my video with my mother in law here:

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