"ARE YOU MAD? WHERE ARE MY CHILDREN?"

My French friend has married to a Nigerian guy in 2011 and they don't have a child yet. They have gone to Nigeria a few month ago and the first thing my friend's  husband's mum said to her is "Are you mad? Where are my children?"

In most Nigerian culture the first child is expected from the couple almost immediately after the wedding. Additional to that the birth of male children is still the source of pride and honour in Nigeria, while that of female children is seen as failure. Sometimes this desire for a male child has resulted in husbands pressuring their wives to have more children. 

I was extremely lucky that my first son arrived very quickly. It was only after his first birthday that my mother in law "asked for " a second baby.

Now I have some peaceful time expecting my second child soon. However it took me a while to understand all this pressure. 

An average Nigerian does anything to have a male child, who will carry on the family name in the society. Some female children also retain their family name, even in marriage, to preserve their father’s name.

Secondly the pressure for economic survival has made people to become desperate for a boy.

Some parents expect their children to play a major role in the family up-keep. Up to 65 percent of the Nigeria’s population live below the poverty line, according to the Nigerian Economic Summit held in the country’s administrative capital, Abuja, recently.

If you are married to a Nigerian my advice is just try to understand the culture and take it easy. Bless you!

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POUNDED YAM

To be brutally honest I don't make pounded yam too often and I actually can easily count how many times I made it so far. I know, I should make it for our peaceful marriage sake but ........-....excuses..-....

So at the moment my dear husband needs to eat more rice than yam. Sorry. :)

However I do know a bit about yam. I know e.g. that traditionally pounded yam is made by boiling yams in a pot, and once cooked, it is placed in a mortar and pounded or beaten into a smooth textured dough with a three-five foot tall pestle. Thanks to modern technology, there are now other ways of preparing poundo yam.


This involves yam been processed into a dried powder either by sun drying yam or commercially using desiccating machines. All you need to do is sprinkle the powder into a pot of boiling water and stir the mixture until you obtain your desired texture, then you allow this to cook for a few minutes.


Yam is a good source of energy. 100 g provides 118 calories. It mainly composed of complex carbohydrates and soluble dietary fiber. Together, they raise blood sugar levels rather very slowly than simple sugars and therefore, recommended as the low glycemic index healthy food. And dietary fiber helps reduce constipation, decrease bad cholesterol levels and prevent colon cancer risks.

BUT when you eat pounded yam think about what your nutritional goals are. If you want to lose weight pounded yam maybe not the best choice on the daily basis. In fact, if you take 2 or 3 portions to your stew cooked with goat and a lot of palm oil it will help you GAIN WEIGHT.

This is because pounded yam is high in carbohydrate and relatively high in calories. One slice of pounded yam is 130 kcal and think about how many slices you would normally take. One slice is probably something that my ten months old boy can finish without problem.

I know it's very delicious but you have to reduce its consumption in your diet when you are trying to lose weight.

Sources:
http://www.nutrition-and-you.com/yams.html

WEIGHT-LOSS MYTHS

The following myths are general myths that I came across so far. Please comment and tell me what the Nigerian ones are.

You have to do cardio exercise to lose weight. (Walking, running, cycling, skipping)

I have to admit that it took me a long time to realize that cardio is not the best way to lose weight. A few years ago I believed I had to run to lose excess weight or keep it up. Today I know that I was wasting a lot of time with running.

You don’t need endless running in the gym to become slim! You have to work out with weights! You have to understand that the more muscle you have the more calories your body burns even when you are sleeping, this is because muscle burns more calories than fat.
Now twenty minutes exercise with weights is more than enough for me to keep myself fit.

You have to eat less if you want to lose weight

Good news for food lovers like me is that you don’t have to reduce the amount of food you eat if you ant to lose weight. The trick is to eat the right food at the right times.

Forget very low calorie diets because it is too hard to maintain. Every time I tried to eat very little I finally gave in and ate more calories than I needed, causing weight gain.

Apart from that, not eating decreases metabolism and your body thinks that you are either starving or fasting and reduces your metabolism to keep your most important organs working. You do lose weight but when you start eating your metabolism is still slow and your body thinks that may be this is the last time you will eat (as you've been starving). Consequently you actually start gaining even more weight.

Fat makes you fat
In my experience it is usually excess carbohydrate consumption, and not excess fat consumption that is causing weight gain!

In fact avoiding fat might cause weight gain.
Perhaps what is more useful for people to know is that eating different foods (carbs, proteins, fats and fibre) will affect how much you eat and how often via hormones! Ho many people know this?

Meals high in protein, keep you "fuller for longer". Eat too many carbs, and your body will have no choice but to store the extra energy as fat! In addition you will feel lethargic in the process, and then you soon feel hungry for more carbs! Carbs aren't bad, they are needed to give us energy however its very easy to overeat them!

Skipping meals is a good way to lose weight

Like I said earlier, you need to keep your metabolism fast if you want to lose weight. By skipping meals you can only achieve slow metabolism, a bit of weight loss and a lot a of weigth gain when you start eating again.

If you want to lose weight you still need to eat. Just reduce your portion sizes, eat fresh foods not processed meals , swap snacks such as crisps, chocolate bars etc for rice crackers, nuts and fruits. Cut back (or cut out) on alcohol.
Only eat as much as you need, don't overdo it just because you can.

These are my advice. I hope I could help.

THE NIGERIAN DREAM

Since 2011 I am surrounded by Nigeran people. Most of my friends are actually from Nigeria. It was easy to notice that all strive for a big car giant gele and beautiful jewellery. It's  like "the bigger things I have the richer person I am". Don't get me wrong; this is not unusual in other nations of the world , too. However something is still unusual with these Nigerians. The way to get to this Nigerian dream is: EVERYBODY NEEDS TO SELL SOMETHING.

I've noticed that Nigerians always want to make extra cash. Whatever their occupation might be they always try and sell something. I have friends who sells handbags and shoes, the other one jewellery or even soup or meat pie. Nigerians are smart people. They spot opportunities and they quickly buy into it. I wasn't surprised when my husband spent months and months to get me to sell something. I started with make up and clothes, followed buy books and food. My husband is also a "hard-working bee" currently working on at least 3 different businesses at the  time. He's working in film industry and directing his documentary, he's working on a magazine and helps out at a radio station.

Check out one of his super short documentary:

https://vimeo.com/91630646

DO NIGERIAN CHILDREN GROW UP SLOWER?

As we know in British culture children can get there driving license  from the age of 16 and they can vote from 18. It is not rare to see young mothers on the street pushing the buggy and expecting their second child. Living in England I often get the feeling that life is too short. You have a baby and within 2 decades you can be a grandmother.

Children are grown up adult from the age of 16 and they often move out of their home having their own flat, car and family.

I must say that this isn't the case in my country, Hungary but not even in my husband's country, Nigeria. Children or - I should say - young adults cannot afford to move out of their home early. Some of them live with their parent even at the age of 30. They find it difficult to get a good job that can pay the rent.

Unemployment is a big problem in Nigeria. Excellent education is no guaranty for a bright future. There is a lot of competition or every single position and on the top of that acquiesces are enjoying priority. "If you know someone  at the company you have more chance." - said my husband once.

This is one of the reasons why many people are industrial amongst Nigerians. One of them sews dresses, the other one makes jewelers, the third one cooks for parties. Everybody is busy making money.

And until they get a well-paid job they live with their parents, enjoying mommy's yummy food.